The Newb of All Newbs

Before today, my computer gaming resume listed solitaire. Thats all. Just solitaire, which I totally own, but which doesnt exactly qualify me for the big time. My experience with role playing amounted to trying to keep it real in my own life, where I use my superpowers to sustain my role as Wonder Mom. Thats all. I rule the carpool and I dominate the grocery store and Target.

In World of Warcraft, I am the newb of all newbs. I have no idea what I am doing, but my curiosity and initiative drive me. I consider this adventure something like a quest; is there a grail at the end of this journey into a terrifying wilderness?

Because I am green as springs first twig, green as Kermit himself, I begin at the very beginning. I learn the basic basics
World of Warcraft, often referred to as WoW, is a massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG). Can I say that ten times fast? MMORPG, MMORPG Its the RP that matters, but the MMmassively multi-playerdefinitely intimidates me. I may be innocent but I am not nave: We are talkin massive: More than 11.5 million people subscribe to this game every month. Good to know it requires a subscription: I get to pay money to watch my own annihilation? How fun! Meanwhile, these 11.5 million players helped WoW set the Worlds Record for the most popular MMORPGtheyre in The Guinness Book of World Records and everything. Right this minute, nearly two-thirds of the people playing MMOGs are playing World of Warcraft. I dont think its an accident they call it WoW, hunh?

When I sign-up for my ten-day free trial, I will control my avatar. I get that, but can I be cuter in the game than in real life? I mean, even if monsters are gobbling me in single bites, I still want to look good while they devour me. If I understand this deal correctly, I at least get a little bit of time to explore the landscape and take a few practice shots on wimpy ogres before I really undertake a serious challenge. I hope I get a little time to develop my skills in the minor leagues before I have to take the field in the majors. How embarrassing to show-up, make a cameo, and immediately die!

The WoW website tells me, World of Warcraft is a living, breathing online adventure world. Okay, I reassure myself, thats a little hyperbole, but with ten million people imagining and innovating, Id hazard the guess that this virtual world has quickened and taken-on life of its own. Its only the breathing part that leaves me a little uneasy; but Im guessing Ill get used to it.

The website says, when I log-on, I will become one among thousands of mighty heroes in an online world of myth, magic, and limitless
adventure. Ive never been mighty before. That alone will inspire the next mouse-click. But I also get a little foreshadowing, a subtle taste of what awaits: As I wander through this wonderland, I ultimately will face the dragon of Blackrock Spire; he cannot be any worse than my Ph.D. committee, can he? Is it a he? And I will perform community service as I cleanse the undead from the looming ziggurats of Stratholmegood thing I know what ziggurats are and have a little prior experience with climbing them. And, hey, I even can look forward to a little inventive anachronism: Ill fly a zeppelin over a smoldering battlefield. My characteristic pessimism kicks-in just a little: with my luck, my zeppelin will be The Hindenburg.

The first screen asserts, An infinity of new experiences await. Then, it demands, So what are you waiting for? Because I have no good reason for hesitating, balking, or waiting, I take the plunge. I delicately press and click.

The guys at Blizzard Entertainment, the geniuses who created this seductive, highly-addictive masterpiece, really like the word mighty. Before she downloads and begins play, the newb needs to know that without high-speed internet access and lots of ROM, shes toast. In other words, your computer and its peripherals must be as mighty as the terrain shes about to enter and the horrible wild things shes about to battle.

The business part of this goes simply and straight-forwardly enough. Although I feel a little surprised that a place which empowers my imaginary self demands all the details about my authentic self, I feel reassured that its all encrypted, and I just type and click my way through the three-step process that whisks me into this virtual landscape.

In my first five minutes, the tips and helpers answer all my questions, allying all my doubts. I can play for ten days for absolutely free; they got all my digits, but they required no credit card for my initiation. My avatar is at least as cute as Ieven with tusks; and I have chosen to train as a priest. I get to see other players as they go on their quests, but were not required to talk; and when we do chat, theyre nice to me. One vaguely attractive young knight shows me how to dance. My avatar has some nice moves.

In my first ten minutes, I have slain ten wild boars, acquired some mighty skills and experiences, satisfied my first initiation requirement, and taken-on my second assignment. A few ogre guys tell me theyre not amused when I touch them or ask them questions; but, hey, thats not so different from my real life. I can manage it. I have enjoyed a tasty snack and some truly refreshing cool water after my boar-battles, and I have some nifty new items in my backpack.

In fifteen minutes, I have evolved from terrified wanna-be to complete rookie to emerging warriorette. Thats not a bad days work. Im hooked. Ill be back. I have a mission to complete.

Comments are closed.